Sorry, checking all the water in this area; there’s an escaped fish. *Insistently* Bow ties are cool! Come on Amy, I’m a normal bloke, tell me what normal blokes do! Did I mention we have comfy chairs? Father Christmas. Santa Claus. Or as I’ve always known him: Jeff. Saving the world with meals on wheels. […]
What’s Spanish for “I know you speak English?” First place chick is hot, but has an attitude, doesn’t date magicians. There’s only one man I’ve ever called a coward, and that’s Brian Doyle Murray. No, what I’m calling you is a television actor. Michael! Marry me. I don’t criticize you! And if you’re worried about […]
Well, how’d you become king, then? Well, Mercia’s a temperate zone! I dunno. Must be a king. The Knights Who Say Ni demand a sacrifice! What… is your quest? Burn her anyway! Now, look here, my good man. What do you mean? Camelot! Burn her! We want a shrubbery!! Oh! Come and see the violence […]
But with the blast shield down, I can’t even see! How am I supposed to fight? Don’t be too proud of this technological terror you’ve constructed. The ability to destroy a planet is insignificant next to the power of the Force. I want to come with you to Alderaan. There’s nothing for me here now. […]
I’m normally not a praying man, but if you’re up there, please save me, Superman. Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It’s what separates us from the animals…except the weasel. I’m a Spalding Gray in a Rick Dees world. When will I learn? The answers to life’s problems aren’t at the bottom of […]
